


If You'd Let Me Love You

by epicmusic42



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Bondage, Dom/sub, Emotional Sex, Idiots in Love, M/M, Trans Jonny d'Ville, Trans Male Character, being loved is too much for Jonny's poor metal heart, but like poorly, discussion of bondaries, emotional overstimulation, trans gunpowder tim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:14:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24904408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epicmusic42/pseuds/epicmusic42
Summary: Tim knows he loves Jonny, and normally he's okay with the limits Jonny has on him showing that. He's not able to give Jonny much more than his love right now though - or keep his love to himself very well.Apparently Jonny isn't as opposed to being loved as he thought though.
Relationships: Jonny d'Ville/Gunpowder Tim
Comments: 24
Kudos: 85





	1. "You Should Tie Me Up"

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Permission](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24378538) by [Anecdoche (so_psychso)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/so_psychso/pseuds/Anecdoche). 



> Jonny is weirdly cooperative in this and no I don't have an explanation for it. He just. was.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonny has a request for Tim...figuring out what he's actually asking for is a bit difficult though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- implied/referenced gangbang  
> \- implied/referenced multiple orgasms  
> \- implied/referenced cock-warming  
> \- communication difficulties

Jonny looked nervous and stressed when he appeared in the commons. He was holding a bundle of ropes in his arms.

Once he reached Tim he dumped it on him. "you should tie me up."

Tim blinked. 

He wasn't opposed. He just really wasn't in a place that he could hurt Jonny at the moment. That's why he had brought it up in the first place. So Jonny knew he couldn't ask Tim for that right now.

"Jonny," he spoke carefully. "You remember our conversation a few days ago…"

"Yeah, I remember."

Jonny was refusing to even look at his face.

"I. I thought about it. You should tie me up."

"That's not what I-" he cut himself off. Sighed. "I want to make love to you Jonny. That's not a scene."

"I know. It just." Jonny bit his lip. Swallowed. "It is for me. I. I'm saying yes. But I want you to tie me up."

"Jonny, that's not how it works. Like. I want to-"

This time Jonny's the one who cut him off.

"I  _ know _ okay? I know. I just.  _ Can't _ . But I'm saying yes. So," he nudged the ropes, "you should tie me up."

"Jonny, if you can't then you can't. You're not losing me or something. We just can't do anything for a bit. I'll tie you up once I can touch you in a way you  _ can _ handle."

Jonny huffed, shoving the rope out of his lap so he could crawl in. He buried his face in Tim's neck.

Tim wrapped his arms around him. Pressed a kiss to his head.

Jonny tapped a quick pattern against his neck.  _ "Not listening, need a moment" _

He waited.

After a moment he rose his head back up. "You remember that time I spent the day on the bridge with Brian and then was dinner?"

Which time? They'd done that several times.

"That we passed you around until you couldn't even tell us it was too much?"

He'd meant to say more but Jonny nodded and responded before he could.

"Yeah. It's like that. I  _ can _ ' _ t _ . But I'm saying yes. So you should tie me up."

They'd fucked him through more than 20 orgasms. He'd been an oversensitive mess before they'd even hit the sixth. How was that the same as making lo- oh. Jonny meant it was too much didn't he?

"Jonny. If I tie you up and make love to you...how does that make it so you can say yes?"

He shook in Tim's arms.

"It's different. I just. If I'm tied up then it's not the same thing."

"Okay...but  _ how _ -or  _ what _ \- is different?"

"Everything? It's not. It's something you're doing to me. And I'm. I just have to take it. I don't have to. I can." He made a noise of frustration. "I won't red light it that way. So just. Yes. If you tie me up."

He thought it over.

Jonny was saying yes. He had said no because he can't, can't what? Can't make love with Tim? Can't accept Tim's love? Can't handle it? He wanted Tim to tie him up. He compared letting Tim make love to him to being fucked until he quite literally couldn't take it anymore. If Tim tied him up first then it made it different so that he wouldn't call red.

"Where will you be if I tie you up?"

Jonny was pointedly not looking at him.

"...yellow." his voice sounded small. "I don't. I don't think I can make it green. Maybe you can get it there eventually but I can't get it more than yellow. Or. I don't know how. I just. I'm saying yes."

Tim sighed. He moved his hands to cradle Jonny's face and kissed him slow and languid.

Jonny kissed him back, tangling his hands in Tim's shirt and clinging. After a moment or two he started squirming and oscillating between acting like he was done and desperate. Tim tolerated it for a few moments more before pulling back.

Jonny was shaking. He looked terrified. He grabbed the rope and shoved it against Tim's chest. "You should tie me up."

Tim studied him for a moment.

" _ Please _ ," it wasn't quite a whine. It was close though. 

Jonny still looked terrified though. Jonny was still clutching at Tim though.

Tim sighed. "Okay. Nothing else though. I'm not doing something that's going to hurt you."

He moved to take the rope and set it aside. He slid his hands down Jonny's arms to wrap around his wrists.

The minute his fingers curled around Jonny's wrists he began to relax against him.

Huh. Not a particularly unusual reaction. Normally it took a fair bit of coaxing or fighting to get him to this point though.

He moved Jonny's hands to sit at the small of his back. Switching his hold to a single hand, he began petting down Jonny's back. He leaned down and captured Jonny's lips.

Gentle, gentle, gentle was the kiss he gave. Slowly Jonny went lax against him. He submitted to the kiss so beautifully.

Tim could admit that this was his favourite part of getting Jonny into subspace. He would take whatever he was given happily and enjoy it. If Tim brushed against a hard limit he'd do his best to say, there was a high probability that he'd snap out of subspace.

-oh. That was the issue wasn't it?

He eased back. Brought his hand up to grasp Jonny's chin. Guided him to look up.

He was gorgeous like this. His mouth just barely open, a flush risen to his cheeks, his gaze just out of focus.

"Jonny," Tim asked slowly. "Are you saying yes because my making love to you is a soft limit?"

They'd talked about it before. About how there were some things that Jonny couldn't really handle but wanted. The way he wanted his neck covered in marks but was liable to dissociate if Tim stayed there long enough to leave any. The way he liked the way alcohol shifted sensations but there were far too many things liable to cause a flashback if he was laid out while drunk.

His grip meant that Jonny couldn't nod.

His voice was breathy as he answered. "Yeah, just. Not just you. Or- or that."

Okay. He knew full well that Jonny didn't do intimacy. It wasn't that much of a stretch that it could be that intimacy scared him. Getting Jonny tied up gave him enough to fall back on that he could handle more than he could normally.

He knew that Marius tied Jonny up sometimes so that he could talk stuff through with him. All of them had tied Jonny up at times so that they could have a conversation without Jonny going off.

"Okay." He brushed a kiss against Jonny's lips. "In the future I'd appreciate it if you told me that something is a soft limit. That way I know that the point is to cross it. The overstimulation example isn't helpful because that's a physical limit."

He pet down Jonny's side as he spoke. He took another moment and just hummed after he finished.

By that time Jonny had gone nearly entirely limp.

"Do you understand what I'm asking you to do Jonny?"

"Yes sir," came the whisper. "Tell you it's a soft limit if I want something I can't take."

Not... exactly what he was trying to say but close enough.

"I'm going to let go of your wrists now, love. I want you to get up and undress yourself for me. Okay?"

Jonny nodded, "yes sir."

Damn. He was going under  _ fast _ .

He slowly released his hold on Jonny's wrists, sliding his hand up to stroke Jonny's shoulder.

Somewhat unsteady, Jonny carefully brought his hands back in front of him before climbing out of Tim's lap. He began undoing belt buckles and laying them on the table.

He was only wearing three. Jonny must have been planning this. 

Which. Tim knew he'd planned it given that he'd brought the rope with him. But there was a difference between 'hey I want you to do a thing that my clothes don't necessarily have to come off for' and 'I'm showing up all but half naked because I want this that badly'.

Jonny's eyes were darting up to watch Tim as he watched Jonny strip. Tim went ahead and ran a hand over his crotch.  _ "Go ahead and give me a show". _

Jonny was a showman at heart. Given permission he slowly eased himself out of his clothes, dragging each piece against his skin. He twisted to tease Tim with hints of more skin as he carefully folded his clothes and set them in a neat stack on the table.

_ Good boy _ flitted through Tim's mind. Not worth dealing with Jonny's issues with accepting compliments to tell him, but still. Jonny might be okay with his things being all over the place but Tim liked his space to stay orderly.

Once Jonny had stripped down to his pants he told him to stop.

"Come here."

Jonny walked over and hovered in front of him. He was starting to shiver.

"Hands together, then give them here."

The order was followed without hesitation. It was quick work to have Jonny's wrists secured. He had enough height that he was able to continue almost to Jonny's shoulders he couldn't reach farther.

He tied off the bindings and brought the extra back through. He set the coil to the side. He'd need it later probably, but not for now.

Jonny went easily when Tim grasped his hips to guide him back into his lap.

With him settled, Tim picked up another piece and began tying a harness around Jonny's torso.

He slid his hand over Jonny's neck. Paused. Gently squeezed until he got a swallow.

"Do you want this tied?"

"Yes sir."

He waited a beat to see if Jonny would correct himself.

"-yes please sir."

He smiled. Jonny was being so  _ good _ right now. He really wished he was confident that Jonny would be able to handle being told he was good and being loved at the same time...or even just close together.

He removed his hand and extended the harness up until a neat coil wrapped around Jonny's neck just tight enough that he wouldn't be able to forget it.

Jonny was letting out breathy little whines by the time he finished tying off the harness. He couldn't help chuckling darkly at him.

He cupped Jonny's face in one hand as he hummed. "You make such a pretty sight for me, love. All tied up like a present."

Jonny whimpered.

He leaned down and gently kissed the first mate. He took care to keep the kisses mostly chaste. Pouring his love and affection into them.

Jonny slowly got more and more uncomfortable as Tim pressed kiss after love filled kiss to his lips. His small twitches and shifts slowly growing from an inability to keep still to aborted attempts to flee.

Tim held them right there patiently. He could wait for Jonny to be ready. He would let Jonny get used to this.

Eventually Jonny calmed. Leaning into the kisses and going limp once more. Tim deepened the kisses.

He settled his hands on Jonny's hips holding him close.

It didn't take long for Jonny to fill with anxiety this time. Like before Tim kept it there. Forced Jonny to let him  _ love _ him. To stay and accept Tim's love.

This time it took longer for Jonny to relax. Time slipped away as they kissed. Tim's world narrowed down to Jonny and the space between them. He wanted so dearly to lay him out and lavish him but he resisted the urge. 

When Jonny could relax into slow deep sensual kisses, accept the love Tim shared with him in them, then Tim would be able to touch him further. Then Tim would make a feast of the trust Jonny offered.

Until then he would wait.

* * *

They probably sat there for a good few hours before Tim decided they were done for the day.

Jonny was shaking at that point. He was fairly certain that it was more from the chilled air than anything, but better safe than sorry. 

He gathered Jonny up and carried him to his room. He paused before continuing to look over the stack of Jonny’s clothing.

There was no sign of Jonny’s pistol.

His breath caught in his throat. He’d known Jonny trusted him. But  _ fuck _ . For Jonny to not even bring it with him? That was something else.

He brushed a kiss against Jonny’s hairline.

Jonny let out a little sound, almost like a keen, in response.

Once they got to Tim’s room it was a fairly simple matter to lay him out on the bed. When Tim started to move back Jonny tried to follow.

Tim leaned back over him, kissed him back into the bed as gently as he could. Set a hand against Jonny’s chest to hold him there as he straightened. “Stay.”

Jonny was trembling.

His gaze was out of focus but he didn’t look lost. He could probably focus on Tim.

“Jonny. Eyes on me.”

Jonny’s eyes snapped to meet Tim’s before dropping slightly. Tim couldn’t help but smile as he began undressing.

The bitten off whines and moans he got, as well as the aborted twitches of fingers and hands, let him know that he’d made the right decision. Jonny may prefer to be the one in the spotlight, but he enjoyed watching just the same. Putting on a show for him would give him the connection to handle waiting for Tim.

His clothes all removed and deposited in his hamper, save his own pants, Tim climbed onto the bed. Carefully he settled himself over Jonny’s hips, pinning him to the bed. Jonny still didn’t offer any resistance as he guided his arms up to stretch over his head.

He left his right hand on Jonny’s wrists, keeping the pressure light but clear. If need be it’d be a small matter to shift it into a proper hold. His other hand he brought to cradle Jonny’s face as he guided him into another sweet kiss. 

Pulling back he stroked his thumb across Jonny’s lip.

“We’re going to stay like this for a bit. Depending on how you do tomorrow I’ll consider making love to you then.” He tapped the rope under his hand hard enough that Jonny would feel it. “You can decide if you want the rope off now or later.”

Jonny snapped three times in a quick succession.  _ “Green-keep going-don’t stop- more please.” _

Tim would have preferred words, but it wasn’t surprising that Jonny couldn’t think clearly enough to string words together with how deep he was.

He used the slack he’d left on Jonny’s arms to bind him to the headboard, then leaned down and kissed Jonny again. He soothed a hand down Jonny’s side.

“I’m going to go get my pistols. Can you wait for me to get back?”

A nod, simultaneously with two snaps,  _ “Yes.” _ A half pause, then a slurred response, “ ‘esir.”

Tim would have to be quick but Jonny should be fine for the minute or two he’d be gone.

Tim moved back across his room and collected a pair of older pistols from his box of new finds against the wall. Oil and cloth from the shelf, a set of screwdrivers from the table on his way back.

Nudging the mostly empty nightstand to a better position didn’t really even take thought. He deposited his tools on the nightstand before sitting down.

As soon as he rested a hand on Jonny, he was arching into the touch. A low whine echoed around him.

“Shh, I’ve got you.” Promises was the best he could give Jonny without lavishing him right now. Thankfully it seemed to settle him all the same. 

Once Jonny had calmed he reclaimed his hand.

Cleaning the pistols off was more time consuming than he expected. He’d have to reclean them when he wasn’t keeping half an eye on Jonny.

Tim placed a hand on Jonny and ran it down his body as he moved to unfold the blanket from the foot of the bed. Carefully he pulled it over the now shivering first mate’s body. 

Jonny’s head turned towards him when he sat back down. His fingers flew for a moment before he just let out a questioning noise.

“You were shivering. I don’t want you catching a cold.”

Tim smoothed his hair back. “You can have another hour, but then I’m untying you. Okay, love?”

The noise Jonny gave him in response could only be described as forlorn. He still gave Tim two snaps though.

Satisfied, Tim began disassembling the pistols. Classic six-cylinders, though he doubted they would hold well if he tried loading them with the  _ Karaad _ cartridges most of the crew preferred.

They’d probably be confined to the gallery then. If Tim was going to tolerate dealing with the finickiness of a gun 3 millennia out of date he was going to stick to his flintlocks. Jonny would probably enjoy them, but that would require that he use literally anything other than his Colt.

Marius wouldn’t do them justice. If he would get any use out of an older gun it’d have to be derringer. Same problem if Tim tried to give them to Raphaella really.

Nastya wouldn't use them, Ivy didn't like guns, Brian barely tolerated the semi-auto Tim had got him, Ashes wouldn’t accept anything that didn’t have a chance of starting a fire.

He supposed he could give them to the Toy Soldier. He was capable of being observant though. 

Jonny was tugging at his bonds.

Tim set the pieces of the pistol he was currently disassembling down. Refocused his eyes onto Jonny.

It didn’t look like Jonny was trying to fight or get free, more like they were catching him as he tried to do something. He twisted onto his side and curled towards Tim. 

Time to untie him then.

Tim caught his head in a single hand, turning his face up to himself. Jonny’s mouth was parted, letting little not quite whines escape.

He kept his voice a low rumble as he spoke. “I’m going to untie you now. We’re going to go take a bath and then you’re going to eat something for me. After that if you want to leave you can or you stay and spend the night with me. Okay?”

Two snaps,  _ “Yes.” _

Getting Jonny untied was a fairly simple matter. He didn't try to fight or avoid it, though he did whine and make small begging noises as Tim unbound him.

Once he was free again, Tim gently ran his hands up and down each of Jonny's arms in turn as well as his torso, until at last he'd soothed and drawn blood back to everywhere that he had been bound. He guided Jonny to the edge of the bed. Held his hands, rubbing circles on the backs.

"Can you walk or do you want me to carry you?"

Jonny chewed on his lip for a moment. Squeezed Tim's hands and began leveraging himself up. However, his legs gave up almost immediately.

Chuckling Tim moved so he could slide an arm under Jonny's legs and moved the other so it was wrapped around his shoulders.

With how light Jonny was it didn't take much effort at all to rise back up with him in his arms. He moved over to the bathroom and kicked the door open softly.

He sat on the edge of the tub and placed Jonny in his lap. Jonny pressed closer to him while he started filling up the tub. Getting them both undressed was a bit more of a challenge with how limp Jonny had gone.

_ Probably not worth trying for anything tomorrow _ . 

Either Jonny would flee once he was settled or he was going to hesitate on the edge of subspace until he ended up hurting himself. It’d be nice if they could get to a point where Jonny would just admit what was wrong.

Sliding them both into the bath was simple. Tim would take care of Jonny as long as he’d let him then wait for him to come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarification on Tim's current inability to hurt Jonny. He's aware that he's very liable to end up dealing with Dom Drop if he tries anything presently even if he doesn't know why. He also has many emotions and ended up spilling that he really wants to make love to Jonny while trying to explain that he couldn't dom Jonny for a bit.


	2. I Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim actually gets to make love to Jonny!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Content Warnings:  
> \- implied/reference murderplay  
> \- communication difficulties
> 
> Jonny and Tim are both trans here. Words used to describe their bodies include cock, cunt, slit, opening, folds, lips, spot, breast, and chest

Over the course of several weeks, Tim had steadily worn down Jonny’s defenses. When they’d started Jonny had been ready to flee over a chaste kiss; now Tim could hold him and switch between gentle kisses and praises without him panicking.

Whatever had been liable to leave Tim a mess if he tried to hurt Jonny had passed. Neither he nor Jonny had brought it up though. Even after he’d choked Jonny out and fucked him back to life. 

The way Jonny had slowly been falling apart but leaning more and more into it would be terrifying if he couldn’t see how needy Jonny got once his fear was soothed. In a lot of ways it still was. He just was fairly confident that he could get Jonny through whatever it was that he was struggling with.

Now Tim had him naked in his lap. Not even tied up. Just settled there and accepting gentle kisses.

Jonny’s arms were wrapped around Tim’s neck so his hands could bury in his hair. Surprisingly he wasn’t pulling at all. He was less pressed against Tim than draped, his face turned up so Tim could kiss him. Tension ran throughout his frame, preventing him from relaxing into Tim's hold, but he wasn't posed to flee.

Tim's own hands were settled on Jonny's skin, slow strokes keeping the skin warmed. One hand pressed Jonny closer to him gently from its place at the small of his back just where it met the swell of his ass. The other wrapped around to cradle the back of his head running fingers through his hair.

Tim pulled back and ran his hand down Jonny's spine before shifting his hold to wrap both hands around his ass. Gently he began kneading the flesh. The wanton moan Jonny responded with made him twitch his own hips up.

He could feel Jonny slowly growing wet enough to drip. He knew he wasn't much better.

Twisting, he lifted Jonny up slightly as he turned to face the bed. It was a simple matter to tip Jonny onto the bed and follow. He didn't have to break the kiss once through the process.

If it gave Tim the opportunity to grind his hips into Jonny’s all the better.

With the change in position it didn’t take long for Jonny to start shaking. They may have gotten to the point that kisses didn’t have him running but this was still considerably more intimate than he could really handle on his own.

Tim didn’t make him suffer long. He could have stayed like this for hours, just sharing breath and feeling Jonny pinned under him. Jonny wouldn’t be able to handle more than a few more minutes before he’d be liable to panick though.

One day. One day he’d do this with Jonny free beneath him. And he’d enjoy every second of it.

For now he pulled back and slid off Jonny as gently as he could. Jonny’s head turned towards him, a whine stringing from his lips even as his body tried to force him away.

Tim cupped his face and stroked a thumb along his cheek for a moment.

Once Jonny seemed more focused he asked, “Colour?”

A pause. He could see Jonny trying to find the words to answer.

When the answer came it was barely audible. “Green.”

He waited a moment longer, watching to see if Jonny was going to change his mind, before taking his hand back.

“Can you stand?”

A nod, confusion flitting across Jonny’s face.

He squeezed Jonny’s shoulder. “Go pick out a dick for me please.”

He heard the hitch of Jonny’s breath as he froze. There was a long moment before the nod came. A whispered affirmative following.

He moved off the bed and moved across the room to his closet. The set of ropes he’d gotten Ashes to agree to let him take from storage for this was coiled neatly on a shelf. Grabbing them didn’t really take Tim more than a few seconds, but he lingered, giving Jonny time to bail if he needed to.

When he walked back out Jonny was sitting on the bed fidgeting with the strap in his hands. One of Tim’s more elaborate harness lay on the bed next to him.

Tim set the ropes to the other side of Jonny before cupping his face and kissing him. The way Jonny strained up into the kiss reassured him that he wanted this even if he was struggling with it.

Pulling back he gently guided Jonny back onto the bed and took the strap from him. One of his insertable ones if a bit more realistic. He couldn’t help arching an eyebrow at the choice.

While it was one of his favourites, it wasn’t one of Jonny’s. Normally Jonny preferred more esoteric cocks. He said that the best part of his boyfriend having a removable dick was that he could fuck him with more interesting cocks.

If he hadn’t believed that Jonny wanted this before he certainly did now.

A hand caught Jonny’s chin and turned his face upwards. Tim gently rubbed his thumb against his bottom lip for a moment while he considered.

“Stand up.”

He let his voice drop a touch as he firmed it. The shiver that ran through Jonny was definitely worth the inevitable pain if he kept it up.

He tossed the strap onto the bed as he grabbed the longest length of rope. Glancing Jonny over he decided that a heavier harness would be best. Loop after loop and knot after knot. He carefully covered Jonny’s chest and stomach with the silk.

As the harness slowly formed Jonny’s breaths grew shorter and caught on not quite moans. By the time Tim finished he was no longer shaking but was swaying enough that Tim was somewhat concerned about his ability to remain standing.

Tim pushed him back lightly, keeping his hands on Jonny’s shoulders to guide him back to a sitting position. He picked up another length before kneeling and beginning to coil it around his left leg. When he reached Jonny’s ankle he set the remaining rope on the floor. Moving over he did the same to the other leg.

Rising back to his feet he picked up the second to last piece of rope and tied a pattern down Jonny’s right arm. The final piece formed a matching one on his left. Tim leaned over him as he guided his arms behind and fastened his wrists together.

Pulling back again he took a moment to just appreciate the sight before him.

Jonny’s mouth hung open letting choked whines and moans out. His pupils were already blown so wide that they looked as dark as the void of space. His head was tilted towards Tim willingly.

_ Beautiful. _

Tim ran a hand through his hair for a moment.

“Do you want to suck my cock, love?”

Jonny’s response was breathy enough to be almost inaudible. “Please.”

Tim stepped forward to stand between his legs. He tightened his fingers into Jonny’s hair before guiding his face into his crotch.

Jonny tentatively licked at his cock at first. Once Tim let out a moan he began to get more enthusiastic though.

He ran his tongue around the head of Tim’s cock before swallowing around him and sucking. His teeth scraped against Tim’s folds as he pressed closer to try and mouth back to his slit. He flicked his tongue at the opening until it gave way and he could begin fucking it in and out.

Tim didn’t bother holding back as he slowly came undone at Jonny’s mouth. The things that man could do with his tongue was quite possibly the most sinful part of him - and considering just who he was that was saying quite a bit.

When Tim could feel himself getting close he pulled Jonny back. While he could go for multiples he would be an oversensitive mess for several minutes after and he was much more interested in making Jonny cum crying on his cock then teasing him.

Jonny looked delicious. The lower half of his face was covered in a mix of Tim’s own slick and drool. His eyes had gotten that unfocused look he only got when he was deep under. All in all he was a sight.

Tim leaned back over him to pull the knot holding his wrists together apart. Straightening back up he told Jonny to give him his hands. He watched as Jonny processed the words before sluggishly bringing his hands to his front and placing them in Tim’s own.

Looping the extra up and tucking them into the rope wrapped around Jonny’s biceps was easy. Jonny was blinking up at him when he dropped his hands back down.

“Would you like to put my harness on me, love?”

Jonny’s eyes widened before he nodded eagerly.

Tim chuckled as he gestured towards the harness and strap. “Go on.”

Jonny grabbed the strap first. Instead of immediately putting it into Tim he set it in his lap though. Then he picked up the harness and began undoing the buckles, a look of concentration just barely visible on his face. 

Tim began petting Jonny’s hair while he waited.

After a few moments Jonny managed to get the harness open enough to begin putting it on. He tugged each strap tight with more care than Tim was used to him showing.

Distantly Tim wondered just how much Jonny craved being loved and the opportunity to be gentle under the bluster covered fear.

The harness was almost completely done when Jonny picked the strap back up. Just the space for a non-insertable one to be placed left loose.

Jonny dragged the strap over Tim’s cock just firmly enough that Tim was confident that it was actually touching him. Slowly he pressed it into Tim until the bend was snug against his lips. All the while, he kept darting glances up at Tim through his eyelashes. Tim let out an appreciative moan as Jonny ground the strap against him. 

When Jonny began fucking it in and out, he curled his fingers tight and sharply jerked Jonny’s head back. 

The whimper he got in response gave him pause. Jonny had done everything short of blatantly asking to have love made to him though. So that’s what Tim would do. He could make Jonny cry tomorrow.

“That’s for fucking you Jonny. Not me.”

He still could enjoy Jonny’s reaction to the growled reprimand though.

When he released his hold Jonny began tightening the remaining straps until the harness was holding the strap angled slightly more up than it would otherwise. Not the perfect angle, but definitely an enjoyable one.

He rested his palm on Jonny’s chest for a moment before pushing him back. He kept it there and enjoyed the sight for a moment.

Tim trailed his hand down Jonny’s chest before sliding it under the cross between his breasts. With the grip it supplied he could easily pick Jonny up just enough to move him further up the bed even as he crawled on himself.

He knelt between Jonny’s legs as he undid the excess from its temporary home against Jonny’s upper arms. Securing it to the headboard was fairly easy. He did have to get back off in order to secure his legs though.

Moving back between Jonny’s now wide spread legs he danced his fingertips across the bare skin of his thighs. Upon reaching his hips Tim pressed more firmly as he leaned down to kiss Jonny gently.

He wasn’t sure what the noise Jonny let out was, caught somewhere between fear and wanting as it was. He doubted Jonny could have told him if he asked. It did tell him how delicate this was though.

He took the maybe cue and kept them there for probably an hour. Settling himself on top of Jonny as he kept pouring his love onto his lips.

When Jonny finally began to grow properly limp Tim pulled back.

“Do you want me to make love to you Jonny?”

He whispered the question against the other’s lips. Barely audible, kept close for them and them alone.

Jonny’s lips parted as ragged breaths caught in his throat. After a moment his answer came, small and more felt than heard. “Yes please.”

Tim smiled, a rush of pride filling him as he felt the tension recoil in Jonny’s frame. Jonny was trying  _ so hard _ to accept Tim’s love for him. Even though it obviously scared him. Even though he could scarcely stand to acknowledge its existence.

Tim pressed another kiss to his lips as he rolled their hips together. After a few gentle rolls that had Jonny whining into his mouth he reached down and guided his strap to press into Jonny. Jonny let out a soft gasp as the head breached his cunt.

Tim kept his pace slow as he settled deep within Jonny. He rolled his hips firmly. Jonny’s moan echoed in time with his own. He didn’t bother pulling out much at all before pushing back in and pressing on that spot. Staying deep enough that Jonny’s voice couldn’t find a moment of silence.

He ran his hands up and down Jonny’s sides, skated across his stomach to caress his chest, trailing down his arms and up his neck. He pressed kisses too gentle to be called filthy, but too deep to be chaste to Jonny’s mouth. He whispered and murmured and almost purred words of love and commitment and joy and awe to Jonny. All the while he kept up a slow, barely there pace, more rocking than thrusting.

As time fell away Jonny’s voice caught more and more. His breath came harder and strangled. His eyes grew wet with unshed tears. He shook beneath Tim. His body alternated between growing tense as though he was preparing to fight and going completely limp letting Tim take his everything.

Tim was so proud of him.

He told Jonny so. Between whispered “I love you”s, murmured “so perfect”s, he let his voice firm so it carried weight. “I’m so proud of you for asking me for this. So proud that you told me what you needed to accept my love. You’re doing so good for me. You haven’t tried to fight me once this whole time.”

The more Tim spoke the more Jonny shook, and the closer he got to tears. By the time he came shuddering around Tim’s strap he was nearly sobbing.

Tim pulled back so he could brace himself on a forearm. Shifting his weight to his knees rather than his hips, he began thrusting properly.

Jonny immediately let out a wail, hitched and broken by tears as it was. He didn’t fight, but he pulled at the binds on his wrists. His hands grasping at air as he arched up into Tim.

Tim snapped his hips forward, alternating the slow deep thrusts with harder faster ones. His words petered out as his own breath came harder. Still he kept up the affirmations as best he could.

He was able to bring Jonny over twice more before his own stamina began to flag. The movement of the strap in his own cunt driving him higher. Normally it took a bit more for him to cum, but making Jonny fall apart with his love was driving Tim higher than he would normally go.

He pressed closer again, grinding his hips into Jonny’s. Jonny had been full on sobbing since halfway to his second orgasm. By now he wasn’t even making proper sobs, just alternating choking gasps with soft whimpers.

Tim mouthed along his jaw, taking advantage of the opportunity to leave bites along the path. Tugging his ear lobe into his mouth he worried it between his teeth for a moment. He let go and blew air across the no doubt sensitive skin.

Jonny whined.

“Can you cum for me one more time, love?”

Jonny was shaking even as he tried nodding. He was almost completely limp beneath Tim. The only tension left in him recognizable as one from him holding himself off the edge.

Tim pulled out almost until only the tip of his strap was left in Jonny. He waited the half moment for Jonny to begin whimpering before pressing back in slowly. He was so close. Just a little more.

He ground their hips together with quick small circles. Jonny was shaking, gasping and moaning into his mouth.

Finally as he felt he felt his orgasm building, Tim whispered into his ear. “Cum with me, my love.”

The moan Jonny let out as he came would have been enough to push Tim over the edge if he wasn’t already there.

He reached up to tangle a hand with Jonny’s while they came down. 

Tim turned to press a kiss against Jonny’s cheek as he pulled out. Fumbling slightly, Tim loosened the straps and tugged the strap out of himself with a hiss. He tossed it to the floor before settling back onto Jonny.

He could regret not cleaning the strap immediately later. For now he was going to cuddle his boyfriend and reaffirm his love...at least until Jonny was talking again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...like I said at the start, I have no explanation for why Jonny is being so good. He just. didn't fight? for once in his life? They got to be soft though so there's that.

**Author's Note:**

> If I missed any content warnings feel free to let me know and I'll add them.
> 
> Quick Comments Reaction Code (basically, react using these and it acts as an auto comment button):  
> ❤️️ = I love this story!  
> 😳 = this was hot!  
> 💐 = thank you for sharing this  
> 🍵 = tea spilled  
> 🍬 = so sweet and fluffy!  
> 🚔 = you’re under arrest! the writing’s too good!  
> 😲 = I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER  
> 😢 = you got me right in the feels  
> 🤯 = mind blown  
> 🤬 = god damn cliffhanger  
> 😫 = whyyyyyyy?!?!?  
> (Thanks to violetsmoak for the comment code)


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